When Emotions Speak Louder Than Truth

“Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” ~Frank Outlaw

Have you ever said something in the heat of the moment—only to regret it later? Maybe you were hurt, frustrated, or disappointed, and the words just poured out. You weren’t speaking truth; you were speaking from a wounded place. That’s the tricky part about emotions—they can feel so real and powerful, but if we let them drive, they’ll take us on a long ride to places we never even intended to go.

Emotions vs. Feelings: What’s the Difference?

Psychologically speaking, emotions are the body’s immediate response to an external stimulus—a threat, a joy, a disappointment. They are biological and short-lived. Feelings, on the other hand, are the interpretations we form based on those emotions. They are shaped by our past experiences, thoughts, and beliefs. Emotions are raw; feelings are processed.

While God created us with emotions, He never intended for them to lead our lives. Emotions are meant to be indicators—not dictators.

The Tongue: A Tool or a Weapon?

James 3:5–6 says:

“The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire... It corrupts the whole body.”

When we speak from unchecked emotions, our tongue can become a spark that ignites destruction. Anger, jealousy, fear, or insecurity can spill out as criticism, gossip, or rash decisions. And let’s be honest: most of the damage we do in relationships doesn’t come from what we feel, but from what we say in those feelings.

Why Speaking from Emotion Can Be Dangerous

Emotions aren’t always truthful – Just because you feel something doesn’t make it fact. Emotions are real, but they don’t always reflect reality.
Emotional words can’t be taken back – Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Words can wound deeper than fists. They linger long after the moment has passed.
We can hurt people we love – When emotions drive our words, we often say things that damage the very relationships God has called us to steward.

“You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do about it.” ~Joyce Meyer

Many people today are behind bars not simply because they committed a crime—but because they never learned to manage their emotions. Rage, jealousy, fear, pride, or unprocessed trauma took over in a moment—and in that one emotional reaction, they made a decision that changed the course of their life.

In fact, according to the National Institute of Corrections (NIC), an estimated 85% of incarcerated individuals in the U.S. have some form of emotional dysregulation, untreated trauma, or mental health issues that contributed to their criminal behavior. I honestly believe that percentage is even higher.

This shows us something sobering and real:

When we don’t master our emotions, our emotions can master us—and even ruin our lives.

This is why emotional discipline and Spirit-led self-control are not just helpful—they are essential.

How to Use Emotions Constructively

Emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re a gift. Jesus Himself expressed deep emotion: He wept (John 11:35), was moved with compassion (Mark 6:34), and even expressed righteous anger (John 2:13–17). But Jesus never sinned in His emotion. Why? Because He was anchored in the truth of God’s will and Word.

Here are ways we can use emotions for victory and edification:

Pause before speaking – Proverbs 29:11 says, “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” Take a breath. Step back. Let the emotional wave pass before opening your mouth.
Process with God first – Pour it out in prayer. Be honest. Let the Lord filter your feelings through His truth.
Speak with purpose – Ask: “Will these words build up or tear down?”Ephesians 4:29 urges, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…”
Wisdom Before Words

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:1. Is it true? 2. Is it necessary? 3. Is it kind?~Sufi Wisdom

Let your words be guided by truth, purpose, and grace.

Many people say things like, “I just couldn’t help myself,” or “That’s just how I felt, and I had to say it,” when they let their emotions explode through their words. But here's the truth: we can control our emotions—we just don’t always choose to.

Think about this scenario:

Someone is frustrated, overwhelmed, maybe even yelling or crying. Suddenly, their phone rings. They glance at the caller ID—and it’s a highly respected person: maybe their boss, a spiritual leader, or someone they deeply admire. In an instant, they wipe their tears, fix their tone, and answer the call with a calm, collected voice:

"Hello! Yes, how are you? So good to hear from you!"

What just happened?

They didn’t stop feeling those emotions—but they chose to shift their focus. They redirected their energy and controlled their expression. Not because the emotions disappeared, but because they suddenly had a strong enough reason to discipline their reaction.

That moment reveals a powerful truth:

Self-control isn’t about not feeling emotions—it’s about choosing what leads. And as believers, we are empowered by the Holy Spirit to do just that.

Galatians 5:22–23 says:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…”

So yes, we can respond with peace, even in chaos—if we pause, pray, and submit our emotions to the Spirit instead of letting them lead.

Steps to Use Your Tongue Wisely (and Not Emotionally)

Renew your mind daily – Romans 12:2 reminds us that transformation starts with the mind. Saturate yourself in God’s Word so your feelings don’t rule your responses.
Acknowledge your emotions, but don’t obey them blindly – Name your feeling, but don’t give it the steering wheel.
Ask for wisdom before you speak – James 1:5 says God gives wisdom generously when we ask.
Create a habit of self-control – Galatians 5:22–23 tells us that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. The more we walk in the Spirit, the more control we have over our tongue.
Use your words to confront and conquer your negative emotions.

When emotions like anger, fear, or disappointment try to take over, respond by declaring the truth of who God is. Speak out His Names with faith and authority:

“God, You are my peace. You are my refuge and my place of safety. You are my vindicator, my wisdom, my covering. You are sovereign, kind, and fully in control. You reign over my emotions. You are my King.”

Keep declaring His character until your emotions come into agreement with His truth and the power of His Word.
Practice silence when necessary – Sometimes the holiest thing you can say is… nothing at all. Proverbs 17:28: “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent…”

Even when my heart feels heavy or confused, I remind myself: God is greater than my heart and He knows everything (1 John 3:20).

My emotions don’t define me—His truth does.

If you've ever let emotions do the talking and ended up regretting it, you’re not alone. But you don’t have to stay stuck in that cycle. Let your emotions be a signal—but let the Spirit of God be the voice that speaks.

Let your heart feel but let your faith lead.

A Prayer for Our Emotions and Our Tongue

Father, Thank You for creating us with emotions. Help us not to be ruled by them, but to submit every emotion to You. When we are tempted to speak rashly, remind us to pause, to breathe, and to seek and speak Your truth & wisdom. Tame our tongues, Lord. Let our words bring healing and not harm. Let them edify and not destroy. Teach us to speak truth in love and to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Fill us with Your Spirit so we may walk in self-control and grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Embracing a Deeper Journey … with the Almighty I AM

Yolandita Colón

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